I know I haven’t been updating much, but life has been a bit hectic … crazy…strange…exciting.  I have sung at a wedding and started a brand new job too.  Most exciting, I took over mommy-ship duties for one Anthony Joseph Gieber. 

What can I say about my little man?  What could I not say?  I love everything about him…well, almost.  I don’t think anyone loves diaper changes, LOL.  He has his moments, like any one year old, but most often he is simply the sweetest of boys. 

As a potential foster mother, I can be contacted any time to help out a needy family.  I got the call Friday and couldn’t help being thrilled.  I knew the wedding would bring lots of friends and family around.  As I predicted, it was terribly stressful for all of us concerned, but I loved every moment.  Times like this show you who your friends are. 

Little Anthony is bi racial and has the most perfect tan skin.  His dark eyes sparkle all the time as he takes in all the new things going on in his world.  As of today, he is over 28 pounds, so my little man isn’t that little.  He is build like a mini sumo wrestler and is so sweet it nearly makes me cry.

His first day I took him to see his Aunt April, also known as GG or BF.  Though she isn’t the baby type, she fell in love instantly and gave him his first gift, a little teddy bear that he enjoys chewing on.  Our friend, Bonnie, just adored him too.  I am sooooo lucky.

Then there was the wedding rehearsal and he was surrounded by people he didn’t know and in a strange place he’d never seen.  It must have been terribly confusing for him, but he hung in like a trouper.  My niece Ashley and many others just loved on him and brought him into our family.  The only draw back, he spit up all over me.  Oh well, such is life with a baby.

While we were at the church, April and Bonnie went and picked up a crib from Bonnie’s sister.  They brought it to my house and April’s hubby even set it up for me.  All of this while I was not even there to help.  I can’t tell you how amazed I am at how good my friends are to me.

Suddenly life is very different.  I am up at all hours worrying, like now.  I make dozens of trips to Wal-Mart to make sure he has everything.  It is all about daycare, dinner, and laundry.  He doesn’t have a lot and I want to get everything for him all at once.  Kind of hard since I’m starting a new job and will go several weeks without a paycheck.  Oh well … we’ll make it.

This weekend will be about chilling out and having more fun together.  There will be errands to run and chores to do, but I look forward to getting to know Anthony more.  We will go to church on Sunday and make sure I thank the “Big Man Upstairs” aka God for all that I have been blessed with this week, even if I am really tired.  Haha.

Even now, I hear my little big man waking up.  I will wrap up this rant for now and don’t know how soon I’ll be back.  Thanks to all of you who love and support me, you know who you are.  … LOOOOOVVVEEEE

It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty seconds to destroy him.  Baudouin I, King of the Belgians.

             Today, I am thinking about my POW and how lucky I am that my daddy came home from Viet Nam.  I got on line to find out if there was any more information out there on Staff Sergeant Craig M. Dix.  His Huey helicopter was shot down with several others exactly 34 years ago this month, March 17 to be exact.  And it is the same year I was born.  My dad had all ready come home.

            I found several web sites.  One even had a picture.  He was just 21 years old in March of 1971 when he was taken.  I found out his birthday is 12/5/1970.  He was a handsome, blonde, all American boy and should have been home enjoying one of his first legal beers and hitting on the local skank at the bar.  He should have gotten to grow up.

            I wonder who went to tell his mom and dad.  Are they still waiting for their son to come home?  Was he married?  Does he have a child, maybe near my own age, who never got to see their daddy?  Who still misses him now, other than me?  Does he have family to pray for him each night?

            I’m sure, after 34 years, he is no longer a prisoner.  My rational mind knows that.  It would be wonderful if this were some fairy tale land where he could be returned to his family and friends.  The reality is some miserable pieces of garbage have kept him.  They deny him even the dignity of a burial.  To deny his family of mourning has to be the most despicable thing anyone can do.

            He was spotted, shot in the ankle and trying to evade capture.  That was the last time he was ever seen.  I wonder how long he suffered.  Was there anyone in the Cambodian hospital where he was last seen who gave a damn?  How frightened he must have been.  I am a fan of “Touched By An Angel” and hope that an angel like Andrew was there to hold his hand.

            The last conversation I had with Dad was about my bracelet.  I had just ordered it on line and I told him if he liked it, I would buy him one for Christmas.  It was Memorial week end 2002.  That was the last phone call I'd ever have with my dad.  He went into the hospital the very next day.

            I wear his name on my bracelet, and do so proudly.  I rarely take it off.  I owe him my respect and admiration.  He gave his all for this country and I can’t imagine a bigger sacrifice.  I am proud of him and all the other service men and women who fight for us every day… That’s my patriotic rant.

Peace Out

What do girls do who haven’t any mothers to help them though their troubles? – Louisa May Alcott, 1832-1888, American Author

            My mother is my greatest idol and biggest fan.  My last post was rather choppy and nothing more than a brief overview of my family.   I offer many apologies to all of you, especially my BF.  My mother deserves a post all to herself.  God knows where I’d be without her.  Wherever it might be, I’d be miserable if she wasn’t in my life.

            My mother worked hard nearly every day of her life.  From waiting tables to greasy factories, my mother has done it all.   No matter how rough it got, she has always been a lady.  This is a state of mind, more than anything.  You don’t have to wear haute courtier or get a manicure every week.  My mom didn’t have to be a Kennedy to have class.

She quit school at 16 to take care of her little brother and never stopped doing for others.  Now, she has her GED and many other computer certificates besides.  I am so proud of her and am glad to tell her so.  She has taken computer classes to manicuring and sewing classes.  I guess I get my love of learning from her.

It seems all my life that Mom has the answer.  She can do anything and everything.  To this day, her home cooking makes my mouth water when I’m not even there.  She could always sew, fix, or arrange anything.  From play costumes to hemming my favorite pants it was Mom to the rescue.  All this, and she was working her fingers to the bone 40 hours plus a week too.  She never forgot she was a mom.

When I was five, my father and I were in an auto accident.  They got my mom from work and rushed her to the hospital without really telling her anything about our condition.  She walked in the doors and I could see her, upside down since I was lying down and she was behind me.  I hadn’t cried at all until then, even with a shattered clavicle.  Suddenly I bawled, “There’s my mommy!”  I just knew everything would be all right now.

             As the youngest, I was afforded some leeway.  On Saturday mornings, I would be the first kid up and she would let me go with her out to breakfast than to garage sales or fishing with Grandma.  “Shari,” she’d warn, “You need to be quiet.  I can’t afford to take all of you kids.”  When she got the job at GM I still remember her bringing McDonald’s breakfast home for all of us.  I knew if we all were eating take out that it was special.  LMAO.  The things we recall.

            To this day I can talk to my mother about anything.  Many people don’t have this kind of relationship with either of their parents and I know it is special.  Even as a teen, there was no awkward stage.  We never argued or grew apart.  She has just always been there and I know I’m so lucky to have her.

            She lives very far away now, in Florida.  She never has to get stuck in snow or shovel a sidewalk.  She doesn’t have to worry about driving in a blizzard or defrosting her car.  I miss her every day.  People where I used to work would be driven crazy for days by me singing, “I get to see my mooooommy.”  when a visit was imminent.  I know it’s silly.  There ya go.

            This isn’t as much a rant as an ode to my mom.  She’s the greatest person I know and now I’m glad she is enjoying a much-needed retirement down in Naples.  Even if I do miss her like crazy, I’m glad she is finally relaxing.  I love you Mom.

Peace Out

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns 1896-1996, American Comedy Actor.

            My family is very loving.  It was all we had when I was growing up.  My father was a disabled veteran home from Viet Nam.  My mom when to work when I was little and in the 70’s there weren’t many jobs around here, let alone jobs for women.  She did anything and everything, working in factories and waiting tables.  $100 a week for 6 people didn’t go far, even then.

            For a wile, my parents split up just so we could get financial assistance, AFDC, which stands for Aid for Families with Dependant Children.  My dad lived with his aunt and paid $7 in child support.  He only made $9 at the time on disability and my mom used to give him the money back.  Meanwhile we got all of our medical and dental taken care of, food stamps, and so on. 

            I never understood any of it at the time.  I was too young to know what money was.  I never went hungry, cold, or naked and as a kid I guess that’s all I cared about.  My parents loved us kids and that is what counted.  My dad adopted my older 2 brothers and my sister when we were all pretty young.  We don’t consider each other half siblings or anything like that.

             My dad was also a drunk.  Not the out all night type.  Oh no.  He stayed home and drank himself silly.  One 24 case of PBR every night.  That was the way it was and it was his house so anyone who didn’t like it TOUGH.  He would never of hurt one of us physically, but the booze sure did make him rough I can tell you that.

            Being the youngest, I saw my other siblings get in one scrape after another.  I wanted no part of it.  Some can say I was chicken, others can say I was cowed.  I tell you I was smart.  My dad used to come to my room and check on my nearly every night.  There would be no sneaking out to party for Miss Shari, even if I had wanted to.  I learned not to question my daddy, and I learned it early. 

            My mom moved to follow her job with GM.  My dad followed a while later.  My close-knit family, who used to get together every weekend, fell apart quickly.  My mom was the loving glue that held us together and without her around my sibs just let lives go to hell in a hand basket.  Oh well, nothing I could do about it.

            My dad died Memorial weekend 2002.  It was a rough time for all of us.  He was a special man, even if he was tough.  My mom now lives in Florida and I miss her pretty badly.  My sister lives there too, so does my mothers sister and brother.  She has a lot of support there and loves every minute so I try not to be sad.  She loves the idea of never having to deal with snow again.

            NO matter how hard she begs, moving down there isn’t in the cards for me.  I have a mortgage and all that stuff.  The cost of living down there is terrible too … my sister’s house cost like 5 times what mine does up here and I don’t thing jobs pay near that well.  So I will stay up here with my BF and put up with winter. 

This is my rant for the day. 

Peace Out

To choose time is to save time -- Francis Bacon 1561-1626; British Philosopher, Essayist, Statesman.

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations -- Faith Baldwin.

            Yes, today’s episode is all about time.  The time we give to each other and the time we waste.  Mostly the time we cause others to waste.  Oh well, you get the picture.  I am totally useless when I am at home.  I get nothing accomplished unless absolutely required.  Who cares?  The only ones here, other than myself of coarse, are Diva the dog and Sebastian the cat. 

            Today my house is a pit fit for the garbage dump.  I have been sick for several days and not feeling up to much.  What am I doing now, instead of chores?  Sitting here wasting time, duh!!!  It seems a much more agreeable endeavor than attacking the mountain of dishes in the kitchen or the laundry that is calling my name from the basement.

            PET PIEVE TIME.  I am a Virgo.  One thing that is a major problem for us is people being late.  I am not late.  9 out of 10 times I am 20 minutes early.  I even carry a book in my purse specifically for this occurrence.  This is my time to squander and I do it willingly.  PLEASE note, this is not the same thing as being late meeting with me.  That is costing me my own time and makes me cranky. 

            I know I’m anal about this.  It’s been pointed out to me several times and I acknowledge it freely.  My BF, April, has now found a way around this.  She doesn’t say I will be there at 10 o clock.  She agrees to meet me at 10ish.  Fine.  This lets me know it isn’t a concrete, set time and I can understand this.  She finds my quirks hysterical, but there you have it.  These oddities are mine and mine alone.  HA.  You can’t HAVE THEM.  Mahwahahahahaha. 

            I am tentatively starting this new job.  My boss has a habit of not giving me a schedule ahead of time or of saying he will be back at a certain time and be an hour or so late.  He can’t really help this.  He is out doing carpet cleaning or what ever at a client’s house and things happen.  I am not angry over it.  It would make my life easier with a set schedule, which I’m told I will get when I go full time.  April thinks it is shocking that I have dealt with it for over a week now.  She didn’t know I had the patience.

Like my father always said, he wouldn’t cross the road to wait in line if they were handing out $100.00 bills.  I hate waiting and I can’t be the only one.  This is my rant for the day, now that I have the energy to have one.  Love to all.

Peace Out

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.  -- Oliver Wendell Holmes 1809-1894, American Author, Wit, Poet –

            I was having a difficult time figuring out a topic for today’s rant.  I don’t feel so good and everything is just kind of BLAHHHHH.  Then I figured, why not one of my very favorite topics .. MUSIC!!!!!  Music is life, as far as I’m concerned.  There are as many songs and rhythms as there are feelings needing expressed.

            Music can give us comfort or even courage.  It can be your best friend.  It can be the romance that is missing or the way to get your weekend party started.  Soothing, silly, or enraging, music is my outlet.  You will probably notice that I listen to just about everything … so far on my notes I’ve listened to Green Day and Shania … I think that shows my eclectic taste.  I am listening to Shania again, oh well.  It was there.             

           My favorite group is, no shocker, BonJovi.  These five guys, YES Jon there are five in spite of any existing contracts Mahwaaahahahaha, are incredible musicians, men, and performers.  Gorgeous isn’t even a strong enough word for these guys.  My BF and I went to see them in concert.  I promise, those seats were a waste.  No one was sitting down!!!! 

From start to finish, they rocked. If you ever get the chance, these guys are worth more than the price of admission.  Watching one DVD, Jon emptied a whole puddle of sweat from his shoes backstage, and he’d just had them on for a couple of songs.  He works his sweet ASS off.  No wonder he is in such great shape.

I have been singing since I could talk.  I performed in public the first time when I was five at a lakeside gathering.  The band was on a flat bed truck.  The singer picked me up and we sang “Delta Dawn”.  He said with all the dancing I was doing I deserved some credit.  For my birthday that year all I wanted was the tape of Dolly Parton and Porter Wagner.  How many 5 year olds do you know crying for a tape instead of a toy?

In 6^th grade the music teacher asked me to sing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”.  There were a few others singing solos, but they weren’t complete songs and when they were done they went to sit down … leaving me for last.  So here I was, a very tiny girl at the time, all alone on the floor of that big gym.  I got an ovation … and I was hooked even more.

Karaoke is a modern miracle and I love to use it to my advantage.  My mother said if they’d had that when I was a kid she would never have needed a babysitter.  LOL.  Guess she knew what I’d be doing.  I have to admit, I don’t like bars too much, but that is one way to get me in the door.

I have the privilege of singing at a wedding this spring and am very nervous and excited.  I haven’t really sung like this in quite some time.  Karaoke hardly counts since most of my audience is three sheets to the wind.  HEHEHE.

Music can mark pages in time or just make you feel good.  Some songs just seem to get to you weather anyone else understands it or not.  There are songs that I know I will remember forever.  Some songs take you back to specific time or remind you of a particular person.  It’s a strong force and one that I am glad to give in to.  That’s my rant.

Peace Out

“A child is fed with milk and praise.”  Mary Lamb

“Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.” Roger Lewin

            I love children.  Children of all shapes, sizes, and colors.  I love the way they smell (when they’ve been changed haha), the way they laugh, and the softness of their skin.  They snuggle against you and are so warm and precious.   It is a love that is most certainly unconditional and complete.

            That said; when I was fifteen I was told I would never have one.  I remember the conversation quite well though it’s been some time.  The doctor sat me down in a small room to advise me of my condition.  My mom knew what was coming and had to leave the room she was so upset.  Upset for me, really, not herself.  She knew what this would mean to me.

            The doctor told me he understood that girls with Turners Syndrome were very maternal but I would never be a mother.  I should get on an adoption list as soon as I planned to marry.  This, of coarse, assuming I would find Mr. Right.   I was obviously cuter then.  It was like a nuclear bomb had gone off.  The realization would hit me harder as I got older, but I didn’t understand that then.

            I had just in the past year been blessed with the first of 13 nieces and nephews.  Stephani Nicole was born 6 weeks premature but she couldn’t have been more precious if she had been gold.  By two weeks old she was spending nearly every Saturday night with me, letting her young parents get out and relax.  I didn’t mind, at 14 I had no life what so ever.  

            My best friend April has a gorgeous 7-year-old boy, Max.  We have decided he could never be loved enough or have too much self-esteem.  He is an energetic, loving child who is ALL BOY.  I love him as much as if he were my own and am honored to be his “Aunt Shari”.  I am one of the few, to this day, that my BF trusts to watch him.

            I was going to be a teacher.  My love for children makes this a perfect choice.  I had to tell my mother that it wasn’t the kids I have a problem with it’s the parents.  Too many parents now days do not discipline their children, but expect the school or someone else to take the responsibility for it.  This is SHIT.  When I say discipline, I don’t mean beating either.  I believe in a healthy spanking when needed, but that is punishment, which is only a small part of discipline.

            Discipline is setting an example for your kids.  It means rules and knowing the consequences.  It even entails positive reinforcement.  This can be as simple as a sticker for accomplishing a required task or missing out on ice cream when they act out.  They need this structure. 

            I certainly wasn’t given everything as a kid.  Even when my Mom got her job at GM I still didn’t have things handed to me.  Wanting something never hurt anyone, even children.  As long as needs are met, wanting can be a good thing.  I still got a job at 16 to buy my own car, my own clothes, and any extras I wanted.  It is part of growing up.  Things certainly aren’t handed to you in the real world.

            Mom had spent a long time killing herself to get the “necessities”.  My Dad was a disabled vet and she had been bringing home maybe $100 a week for 6 people.  Now she had 1 kid not four and maybe 10 times the income.  Though life got a lot nicer, I still didn’t get everything.  They even went and adopted my cousin Mike when his mother passed.  I was a long way from spoiled, despite what my older sibs think.  LOL.

            I just have to remind everyone, giving in to your child’s every whim doesn’t show love.  It is sticking to guidelines and raising your child to be a loving and respectful adult.  Letting them learn how to be a participant in society will serve them much better in the long run that getting them those $100 Nikes every year or letting them eat Chicken McNuggets 3 times a week.

That’s my rant, from the viewpoint of a waiting Foster Mother.

Peace Out

“You better love some body, it’s late.  You better love somebody don’t wait.  You better love some body don’t tempt fate.  You’re gonna push it just a little too far … One night.” Rick Springfield

            It’s springtime and a young man (or woman’s) thoughts turn to love.  Oh yes, I’m not an exception.  I guess anyone who knows me understands my feelings here.  I have spent most of my adult life looking for the right man.  I’m not looking for Superman, or any other hero for that matter.  Just a man I can trust and who loves me for who I am.  The search is pretty futile.

            One night, I’m afraid I’ll just lose it.  I’ll attack some poor helpless slob who is totally pathetic.  He will be not only disgusting, he won’t hold a job or care.  He will probably be guilty of axe murdering his mother.  And I won’t even really notice.  This is the terrible trend my life is taking as far as romance goes.

            I may not be the hottest girl on the block, but I am fairly intelligent.  I am focused, thoughtful, and fairly good at taking care of myself financially.  Maybe these are traits that scare men.  I don’t know, but it sure doesn’t seem to attract them.  After all this time I try to tell myself that I don’t care, but I do.  I don’t want to grow old alone any more than the next person.

            When all is said and done, though, I’m just not willing to compromise.  The guy is going to have to care about himself and me.  I can’t stand stupidity either, though anyone can have a blunder here or there including myself.  I have worked hard to get my own home and so forth so I won’t be responsible for financing a man, though I have never been against working together.  I guess that is that.

            Well, I am lucky to have some very good friends.  They know who they are and I hope I do at least an adequate job of telling them how important they are to me.  I have a WONDERFUL Mom and though my Dad is gone he loved me very much.  That, in itself is lucky.  I do try and remind myself of that.  I’m really not that down right now, but this was what was on my mind as I wrap up this weekend. 

Peace Out

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-- Mark Twain

Now, this is certainly my motto of late.  I have just been lazing around sleeping, playing with my pooch, or aimlessly wandering through WalMart.  Now, with a new job, I need to get MOTIVATED!!  I have a chapter started on a story called "A Glimpse" which is an SVU story and it needs my attention.  It just doesn't seem to happen.

I have a little party to go to tonight.  Maybe that will pull me from my lazy funk.  I am ready to PARTY and DANCE or maybe play cards.  It will be great just to socialize with my "small group" from bible study.  They are great people to be around.  There will be music, food, and all those other entertainments.  I am looking forward to it. 

I am normally very friendly and outgowing.  I am singing at a wedding in April which is very EXCITEING !!!   The groom is practically family and he and his bride deserve the VERY BEST after 6 years and 2 kids.  LOL.  I'm going to give it EVERYTHING I have and let it ROCK.  I will be singing "From This Moment" by Shania, hense the music I am listening to right now.    These are all things I can not just "let go until tomarrow" I need to get busy.

These are all my nonsense thoughts for the day.  Peace Out